The Jetlag Tour

[FutureSidekick]

Whoa, what kind of crackhead worked out Kathy's tour schedule? Florida to Hawaii to New Jersey?!?! Holy Jetlag!

Don't get me wrong, we are so excited Kathy is visiting Hawaii, a visit by way of Mars would still sound reasonable (bring some men back, k?). On the other hand, poor, poor Kathy for making two cross Pacific/cross country flights like that. I hope the resulting super duper pile of air miles will be going to a great cause. Does Lindsay need a ride to rehab, perhaps? She couldn't ask for a better chaperone. (HAH, can you believe, the spellcheck here doesn't recognize the word "chaperone" as a word. Seriously? Team Griffin can't even SPELL chaperone but, oh, yes, we can accurately spellcheck "booze", "crackhead", and "anal-retentive" just fine, thank you!)

Mahalo for visiting us here! And congrats to whoever it was in your tour manager's office who decided to f*%k with you, just 'cause. Well played, mystery adversary! At least if you're flying to Hawaii from Florida, I hope you'll get to spend some quality time here in the Aloha State (my sofabed is available if your people need a place to crash). Remember, your visit to Hawaii is followed by a trip to New Jersey...which is probably lovely in April. You know that traditional Jersey expression, "April showers bring newly revealed bodies of 'retired' mobsters"?....but, hey, what the heck, you might as well soak up some sun and mai tais here while you have a chance.

At least you folks in First Class still get food on flights. Jacksonville, Florida, to Honolulu...that's enough time LOTS of warmed nuts.